I posted a powerful video on Facebook for my followers , and the words from that video have been ringing in my ears. The speaker was named Caroline McHugh and she talks about how to truly be yourself. I listened to the talk this morning as I drove out to spend the day with my husband and boys who were camping this week at Dale Hollow Lake.
Her words seemed to come right on time for me. Convincing yourself that it is truly ok to be yourself is a pretty hard thing to do, isn't it? It's human nature to seek approval from others. But, at the same time, we are seeking approval from people who view us through vision clouded by their own experiences and prejudices. How then can we ever be perceived fairly? The answer is we cannot. So then, why not just be authentic? What do we have to lose? No matter how we try to portray ourselves to others, those around us will come to their own conclusions about our motivations and our core values. We will never be able to change that. By not being truly authentic in order to accommodate how others perceive us, we not only have to deal with their perception which is automatically a lie but also with lying to our own self. That's pretty tragic, huh?
I feel like I am getting closer to jumping off the approval train. It moves too fast for me and I have whiplash from the jolts of the train stopping and starting on its rickety tracks. I just want to BE. I know who I am and what I mean. I'd like to trust that the people around me do as well, but it really doesn't matter when it comes down to it.
"There are very few things that I think are gender-specific, but one of them is something I call “approval addiction.” The need to be liked, the need for approbation, or recognition, or for somebody to tell you it’s okay. I find more woman suffer from that affliction than men, and I think it’s one of the most debilitating things. When it comes to being yourself needing other people’s approval, loving somebody else’s opinion, and mistaking it for your own is one of the most debilitating things you’ll do on the road to being yourself. You will never, ever be perceptionless, but it’s important to be perception free." — Caroline McHugh
Link to Video: