I muddled through the fifth outfit in a row, hating everything I put on. This time it wasn’t because nothing fit. No, I’ve been working hard on my health and fitness for three years, so everything was feeling good in that department. Honestly, there was really no good reason for me to furiously be pulling jackets and shirts on and off, feeling discouraged by the 42 year old woman looking back at me.

“I look matronly.”

“I’m not ‘cool’ anymore.”

“My clothes are outdated and I have no fashion sense.”

Welcome to the jungle of all the self-limiting thoughts running through my head as I stared back at myself in my full-length mirror.

“I need to face the facts. I just don’t fit in with this ideal that I see on social media.”

And, there it was. Comparison had made its way into my mindset. Up to that point, I prided myself on being keenly aware of the difference between virtual “reality” and actual reality. But, alas, I too had fallen victim to chasing the Instagram image of who I thought I should be.

That day I was headed to an event where I knew I’d be around women who were considered “influencers” with tens of thousands of followers. One in particular is the daughter of a good friend and I’ve proudly watched her build a full-fledged career out of her lifestyle blog and social media presence. I knew the outfits would be on point. Hair, makeup and accessories would be perfectly coordinated and styled. I was going to be behind the curtain of what would surely be posted on social media later, and I wanted to blend in if, God forbid, I ended up in any photos or stories.

I finally pieced together an outfit I felt was reasonably stylish and headed out the door. On the way I over, I questioned from where this insecurity was coming. These were people I know very well, far beyond the social media posts. They are real people who have I seen honestly and painstakingly work their way into their current success. Yet there I was feeling that I didn’t measure up. I found myself comparing my busy mom/full time job/wife life to carefully curated photos on social media. I knew better than to forget that Instagram is full of photos that only represent an instance in time and not necessarily the complete picture. As a photographer and curator of content, I understand this better than most! Still, like many other women, I too had fallen headfirst in this dangerous trap.

As it so often happens in my life, the universe didn’t wait long to slap me right in the face. No less than five minutes after arriving at the event, I could feel something was off. Yes, everyone looked picture perfect on the outside, as expected. But, there was something in the air that felt off. I greeted my friend and though she looked perfect from her gorgeous hat to her stylish espadrille sandals, her eyes screamed with heartbreak. Her normally bright and bubbling personality had an unmistakable hollowness. It was a different demeanor than I’d ever seen from her, and certainly not what her recent Instagram photos projected. I soon learned that in the last couple weeks she and her husband had secretly faced the heartbreaking pain of a miscarriage.

My heart sank into my stomach, and it felt like God had grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me to the core.

Struggle escapes no one. You can do your best to create the best life you can, but no one is immune to hardship and change. While I was busy trying to hide all my own insecurities behind the perfect jean jacket, I forgot that we are all just humans weed-wacking our way through a thorny life. While I was worried about which necklace to wear, she was worried about keeping it together at this event where just weeks before she had planned to announce her pregnancy.

Because I know this young woman fairly well, I knew without a doubt she would share this with her followers even though it did not fit in with the globe-trotting, stylish, albeit authentic, persona she has on Instagram. She is honest and real, and this is likely the first hardcore blow she has faced since her rising success. She did, in fact, share the news in a raw and authentic way, and was met with thousands of comments of support and notes from those who have stood in her shoes. Her current trial does not make her exciting experiences shown in her previous posts any less real. It’s just now she has the opportunity to take something painful and personal, and show her followers that they are not alone in facing trials.

Don’t get me wrong! I absolutely hate that I had to be reminded of this lesson through someone else’s pain. I wish I could have gone to that event and remembered that I can stand proudly on my own whether or not I put together the perfect outfit. I also hate that my friend is being forced into publicly confronting her painful experience, but I’m deeply proud of her because she is teaching thousands of women who follow her online the exact lesson that I learned the other day in person. As actress Adrienne C. Moore said, “The truth is, we all face hardships of some kind, and you never know the struggles a person is going through. Behind every smile, there’s a story of a personal struggle.” I hope you will remember this the next time you are staring at yourself in the mirror muddling through the fifth outfit in a row trying to measure up to an ideal created in a photo on Instagram. Struggle escapes no one.

I hope all my followers who celebrate Easter had a wonderful holiday weekend!! Here’s to the holding on to our faith that when God is with us, nothing can be against us! He made a promise never to leave us behind, and He kept it!

I attended no less than 5 egg hunts with my boys and had beautiful fellowship with family and friends. Each year we attend a picnic on Easter Sunday with some longtime friends. It is a potluck meal and I wanted to share what I brought this year!

Here is an easy pasta salad recipe that you can throw together in a jiffy for all your spring cookouts!

Tuscan Pasta Salad

INGREDIENTS

One box bow tie pasta

One bottle Kraft Tuscan Italian dressing

1/2 diced red pepper

1/2 diced green pepper

2 diced celery stalks

1 grated carrot

1 T McCormick’s Salad Supreme

DIRECTIONS

Cook pasta according to directions on box. Drain and rinse in cold water to cool. Stir in all remaining ingredients. Allow to marinate in fridge for a couple hours. I like to cook my pasta the night before and stir in dressing and seasoning, and then refrigerate overnight. About two hours before the event, I stir in the veggies and top with a little extra seasoning.

I tried lots of different Italian dressings and Tuscan is by far the best!! And, if you’ve never tried Salad Supreme in your pasta salad, you are really missing out! I’ll thank my mom for passing down both these secrets. Her spaghetti salad is the BEST and this is why!

I have played it safe in some areas of my life for longer than I would like to admit. I expend a lot of energy trying to make sure I am not too much or too little. For too long, I have shown up for my business just enough to get the job done. I have feared rocking the boat and letting everyone see that I don’t fully know how to operate it. For some reason, I have lived with this underlying thought that I have to “make it” before I can show up as a “real” leader.

The crazy thing is that I hustle HARD and although most of the time it takes longer than I want, I somehow find a way to achieve my goals. So, the question then becomes, when do I decide “I’ve made it?” Is there even such a thing? I can always do more. What the heck am I waiting for? When do I give myself permission to stop playing it safe, break through the limiting beliefs holding me back, and rock the damn boat?

I can’t be alone here.

When do any of us decide that we are worthy and capable RIGHT NOW? When do we admit that our limiting beliefs are fears disguised as excuses?

How about we realize we would not be where we are at this moment if we weren’t smart and full of potential? It’s not an accident when we succeed. It’s not luck. It’s our hustle. It’s our sacrifice. It’s our personality. It’s our capability and our tenacity.

Let’s stop – and I’m talking to myself the most here- let’s stop holding ourselves back by using the excuses (aka fears) that we haven’t “made it” or that we have to be at a certain level before we can respected. If we want respect, we should try respecting ourselves enough to know that we didn’t get where we are by accident.

Let’s start rocking the boat! Sink or swim, baby. Are you with me?

Now, until to a product that I love! Occasionally on Modern Day Fox, I share things that I love in hopes it helps my readers find really cool products they have never considered. These are not sponsored posts unless I specifically say that.

Last week I tried Kiss imPress press on nails! I put them on a Tuesday night and they lasted until Monday evening with only one nail popping off. I easily put that one back on with nail glue. I got them wet several times doing dishes and showering and they stayed on great. I read some tips that said to really buff and clean your nails first and trim them as short as possible. It also said to press each one down hard for a full 30 seconds. These tips worked and were important. When I went to put on the second set in the package, I got excited and forgot to buff my nails with the file. As a result, I had about four pop off over the next day or so and need to be glued back on. Won’t make that mistake again!

Kiss imPress nails look great and the kit came with 30 nails for only $5.95 at Walmart! Yes, that’s right! $5.95 for around three weeks of beautiful nails. I also recommend grabbing a tube of nail glue to keep on hand just in case some pop off.

Here’s a photo of my second set:

That’s all I got today, folks! I’ll leave you with this… Rock the boat and do it with pretty nails!!

xo

Jaime

I feel like I just had a stroke of genius. I have a surplus of garden cherry tomatoes and needed to do something with them fast. It occurred to me to pop them in my air fryer like I do everything else!

Sadly, my chest puffing over my great idea didn’t last too long. After I made these delectable little bites, I googled and found that some other smart cooks had already thought of this.

So, alas, I’m not doing anything totally revolutionary here, but maybe here is the first time you have heard of doing this. That’s enough for me!

Here’s what I did:

Air Fryer Roasted Tomatoes

Ingredients

1 cup cherry tomatoes

1 Tbsp Olive Oil

1 teaspoon dried basil

1 teaspoon minced garlic

Salt and Pepper to taste

Directions

Line your fryer basket with foil. This is of course optional, but highly recommended. Tomatoes pop and they are messy.

Toss tomatoes in a bowl with all other ingredients.

Pour into lines fryer basket.

Set fryer at 400 for ten minutes. You will hear some popping! That is normal.

When timer goes off, your Roasted Tomatoes should be done! If you desire more roasting, add an extra few minutes.

Enjoy! I served some over spaghetti with portobello mushrooms and topped with pine nuts! Yum!!

Results time! The patriotic Walmart bikini strikes again 🙂

I just finished coaching and participating in the brand new LIIFT/HIIT program released by my fitness company. With only four workouts a week ranging between 30-40 minutes, this program fit perfectly into my busy summer. The flexibility of being able to move workouts around each week made it so much easier not to miss. There are times in my life when I need a stricter routine, but not in the middle of summer and then back to school. I also absolutely loved lifting weights and was using 20lb dumbbells for the majority of the exercises by the final weeks of the program.

My personal goal with this program was to maintain my weight and build muscle. As you can see in the pics, there is not a huge difference and I’m totally ok with that! Everyone has different goals when they start a fitness program and mine was to get through the rest of the summer without gaining weight. I did it! I did lose a good inch in my mid-section so my side pose result is the one I am most pumped about!

I have successfully maintained a 13 lb weight loss since the beginning of this year by committing to my at-home workout programs, drinking my superfood shake, and following simple principles laid out in the nutrition programs. I have had a tough year and these programs have saved me. That’s not being dramatic – that’s being honest! My challengers and my trainers have shown up for me every time I’ve pressed play. I love always having something to work towards and a community with whom to share it .

If you are intrigued by a program that combines weight training and bursts of high intensity exercises and gives you results in only four workouts a week, we need to talk! I will be kicking off my round of challenge groups on Sept 17th!! I want to help you change your life for the healthier!!!

Fill out this form and I’ll contact you!

Check out this progress photo from when I committed to my first program until now!

As most of you who follow me know, I lost two best friends back to back this year. I feel like a broken record telling people over and over again, but it’s almost like I have to keep talking about it to even believe it really happened. It seems everyday a tag with one of them comes up in my Facebook memories to which I have a love/hate reaction. I love remembering, but it stings having to “remember.” It’s just plain unfair, you know?

In May of 2017, my friend, Chad Trout, was diagnosed with Stage 4 Neuroendocrine Pancreatic Cancer and was told it had metastasized in his blood. Very quickly, his condition became grave. Chemo treatments brought back his quality of life and extended his time here by a year. Over the last year of his life, Chad had some real moments of growth and strength. He shared his epiphanies publicly and so many were touched as a result. I wanted to share this post with my readers that Chad post just months before he passed away:

“Vanderbilt is holding me tonight & possibly tomorrow too!

So, after nearly 4 days in the hospital, I’ve learned a lot more about my health and situation. As most of my friends & family know, I have been fighting stage 4 pancreatic & liver cancer for 10 months. Against all odds, I kept getting better and making huge progress. In that time, I’ve been enlightened, found new identity, appreciated my existence, had the opportunity to make things right, and mend fallen fences. My marriage has gotten even stronger. I’ve searched for and discovered answers, been celebrated and saw the face of time. But, more importantly, I discovered the meaning of faith! Those are the good things that cancer has brought into my life.

The truth is – it’s been there the whole time. Being in crisis mode just forced me to make changes and become aware of those things a lot faster. Cause, the only other option is to lay down and give up. Only, I am not one to give up! Even in my darkest hours, I’ve kept the music and my dreams alive. Cause, without that there would be no hope. It’s such a privilege to share my talents and stories with others!

On the darker side of things, I have felt hopeless, scared, angry….. lost! Like, I’m fighting a never ending battle. Right now, I am in a hospital fighting a life threatening cancer, a blood infection, jaundice, chronic pain, exhaustion, needles, IVs, surgeries, procedure after procedure, chemo, oils– just to have or buy little more time. It seems bad news is always around the corner…. my dreams, my future, my life seems to all be slipping away from me, slowly. That shore seems impossible to swim too!

I’ve just painted two pictures and two versions of my life. Which of these scenarios do you like best? Which scenario, would you choose? Because, in reality they both are happening. My point is that we all have a choice in life to choose our own happiness. Despite it all, I am a happy man. I am a blessed man! I FACE my issues instead of running away. So, tonight I ask you look at yourself before bed and FACE yourself ( Find what’s working, Acknowledge it, Celebrate & Enjoy = F.A.C.E.) Look at whatever challenges or hurt you might carry around and let it GO! Set it free. It’s just to damn heavy to lug around.”

— Chad Trout

How’s that for perspective? A man staring down the end of his life at 41 years old can look at a situation holistically. If he can, you can. What things in your life are you focusing on the most? Whatever those things are will be the direction you keep heading. Granted, there are things out of your control. Chad’s illness was far out of his control. As I mentioned before, he passed away just two months after posting this. But, he fought to the end. His attitude and perseverance changed people – many of whom he didn’t even personally know! Had he conceded to his diagnosis, he would have missed the most powerful year of his life. He traveled, he loved, he hugged, he spoke, he sang, he cried, he fought. His attitude was hopeful until the day he passed. In fact, the day before he died, he was mumbling “fight the cancer, fight the cancer” in a drug induced sleep.

Maybe you are in the same situation as Chad where you have a terminal illness. My heart aches for you, and I hope Chad’s example will encourage you to make the very most of the time you are given. For those of you who are in the midst of hard times, I implore you to heed Chad’s advice above and find a way to acknowledge the positive things in your life that coexist with your struggles. Find gratitude in the simple fact that you have you opened your eyes to another day. Be grateful that you have food in the fridge, good friends, your health, or a car that runs. There is always something to for which to be thankful, so start there even if it seems so minute. What you focus on becomes your reality. Are your thoughts in support of who you truly want to be and the life you want to live? Perhaps shifting your perspective on your struggles may help improve your mindset and, in turn, your reality. Even in the midst of watching him pass before my eyes, Chad taught me to F.A.C.E. hardship head on and find the beauty in the moment. Let us all learn from his example.

I posted a powerful video on Facebook for my followers , and the words from that video have been ringing in my ears. The speaker was named Caroline McHugh and she talks about how to truly be yourself. I listened to the talk this morning as I drove out to spend the day with my husband and boys who were camping this week at Dale Hollow Lake.

Her words seemed to come right on time for me. Convincing yourself that it is truly ok to be yourself is a pretty hard thing to do, isn't it? It's human nature to seek approval from others. But, at the same time, we are seeking approval from people who view us through vision clouded by their own experiences and prejudices. How then can we ever be perceived fairly? The answer is we cannot. So then, why not just be authentic? What do we have to lose? No matter how we try to portray ourselves to others, those around us will come to their own conclusions about our motivations and our core values. We will never be able to change that. By not being truly authentic in order to accommodate how others perceive us, we not only have to deal with their perception which is automatically a lie but also with lying to our own self. That's pretty tragic, huh?

I feel like I am getting closer to jumping off the approval train. It moves too fast for me and I have whiplash from the jolts of the train stopping and starting on its rickety tracks. I just want to BE. I know who I am and what I mean. I'd like to trust that the people around me do as well, but it really doesn't matter when it comes down to it.

"There are very few things that I think are gender-specific, but one of them is something I call “approval addiction.” The need to be liked, the need for approbation, or recognition, or for somebody to tell you it’s okay. I find more woman suffer from that affliction than men, and I think it’s one of the most debilitating things. When it comes to being yourself needing other people’s approval, loving somebody else’s opinion, and mistaking it for your own is one of the most debilitating things you’ll do on the road to being yourself. You will never, ever be perceptionless, but it’s important to be perception free." — Caroline McHugh

Link to Video:

https://youtu.be/veEQQ-N9xWU

There is nothing like hanging with the friends with who you have real history. Last week I jumped at the chance to go visit my besties, Kelley and Jake, in Fort Rucker for a quick 36 hour stay. We all went to college together and I remember when they first met. I even sang “Sin Wagon” at their wedding reception like a true friend should. When we get together, laughter ensues. It is like we never miss a beat. This visit was no different.

One thing that Kelley, Jake, and I have always had in common is our love for food. We can pig out like nobody’s business. In honor of the holiday, Christmas Eve Eve (yep, the day before Christmas Eve), we prepared a feast. Jake slapped chicken on their fancy Traeger Smoker, and Kelley and I prepped the sides. I had seen a beautiful post by one of my favorite bloggers, Juli Bauer, of PaleOMG, for her Sweet Potatoes and wanted to give it a go. It was a super easy recipe, and fit the dietary needs of Kelley’s family who try to steer clear of gluten and dairy.

Check out the full recipe here!

First, we thinly sliced the sweet potatoes which probably would have been easier with mandolin.

We arranged them around the cast iron skillet.

Meanwhile, Kelley mixed the maple syrup, sugar, oil, and ghee for the glaze. She also chopped fresh rosemary which offered a wonderful holiday aroma.

She drizzled them on the taters.

And had a little company while she did it!

We placed them in the oven to bake.

I mixed up the pecan yumminess that would be the topping.

We pulled the skillet out and added the pecan topping, and then placed back into the oven to bake. The smell was heavenly!

Rosemary made a beautiful garnish!

This made a lovely dish, both aesthetically and in flavor. The peels left on the sweet potato were a little chewy, so I think made next time I might do a partial peel just to tone it down a bit. That didn’t stop me from devouring a couple servings along with the some of the best smoked chicken I’ve ever eaten.

I hated that I had to eat and run, but right after dinner I had to hit the road back to Tennessee to prepare for Santa. Friends and fabulous food- it was worth the six hour drive!

Check out PaleOMG for thousands of wonderful Paleo and/or gluten-free recipes peppered with a lot of hilarity in Juli’s writing! She also has three wonderful cookbooks available on Amazon. Thanks, Juli, for yet another wonderful treat!

If you try Juli’s recipe, let me know what you think in the comments!

xo Jaime