I’ve been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster this weekend. My Gram is 94 years old and has been in nursing home for the last few years. She is blind and pretty much confined to her bed, only occasionally going to the cafeteria if a relative insists she does. Everyday my dad (her only child) goes to visit her and she asks why God won’t just take her home. It must be so hard on them both to have that conversation everyday.

This weekend she developed pneumonia and was taken to the hospital. They told us that the infection was in her blood and the antibiotics probably would not knock it out of her system. Since she requested no life saving measures, any other treatments would be too invasive. My dad said she appeared close to passing on and started meeting with Hospice. I prepared myself minute by minute for the “call.” I was so sad, but I knew she had been ready for so long. My brother went over for a visit after work. He said when he walked in she looked as if she could go any minute. But only 30 minutes later, she woke up and started talking. She was confused, and mad! But, to say she did a 180 is an understatement. When my dad returned, he said she was back to complaining about everything which is a good sign.

When my dad called me to tell me, I honestly didn’t know how to feel. I wanted to feel overjoyed that she turned for the better. Ultimately, I am of course so happy that I got to talk with her again. But, I also feel a lot of sadness for her. She feels so much misery with a life of just “existing.” I feel selfish wanting her to live forever, but I feel guilty as hell wishing for anything else.

Today when I spoke with her she said, “You all thought the good Lord was gonna take me home, but He fooled the hell out of you!” I cracked up. That right there is why it’s so hard to say good-bye.

So, like I said, I’ve been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. When your emotions get the best of you, that might be a sign it’s time to make a pasta dish. And, that’s what the rest of this post is about. Here is the easiest one pot Pasta Bolognese for your Instant Pot ever. It’s perfect a busy weeknight when you forgot to plan your dinner. You can make it vegan by subbing out the ground beef with diced mushrooms. Saute them just like you would the meat, and then follow the rest of the directions.

Check out this video to see just how easy it is!